The Decision to Adopt


We started thinking about adoption, probably right when I found out that Kieran was a boy. I really wanted a daughter, but was getting older. In fact, I was considered a “geriatric” mom because I would turn 35 two weeks before Kieran was to be born.

Then there was the risk of having another child with autism with each subsequent pregnancy.

There were other influences that swayed our decision to adopt, not the least of which was that at the church we attended, there were quite a few families who had adopted children internationally. There was also an adoption play/support group which was very encouraging as we took the initial steps to find out information.

After a year into a program that would allow us adopt from the Philippines (Mike’s aunt was Filipino, so we thought that would be a wonderful connection), after just a ton of paperwork and expenses, I was called by the adoption agency.

“Are you sitting down?” the director asked.

“Sure, what’s up?” I replied hesitantly.

“We just found out that you cannot request a specific gender from the Philippines.”

“Oh. Well, then.”

If we happened to get a referral for a boy and turned it down, it could be another two years wait for another referral, with not guarantee that the next referral would be for a girl. I worried because of the age difference between the boys and the new child (although we were not adopting an infant). I worried about how long the process would be overall. I really wanted to welcome a daughter into our family.

The director recommended that we consider another program.

By God’s grace, in the midst of this conversation, I was listening to an audio book entitled, There is No Me Without You. It was about orphans in Ethiopia. It turns out that the adoption agency just opened an office in Ethiopia. She suggested we think about this program. The wait would not be nearly as long as it had been with our initial country. However, we had to start all of our paperwork over.

It seemed to be what we were being called to do.

And it was thanks to reading a book that the message came our way.


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