Kieran. My name means little, dark one. Supposedly, my parents had a book of Irish names for boys. They kept saying, Love, Michael, Aileen, Liam, and… and filled in a name to hear how it flowed.

Love, Michael, Aileen, Liam, and Sean? No.

Love, Michael, Aileen, Liam, and Aiden? Nope.

Love, Michael, Aileen, Liam, and Rory? Ugh.

They say Kieran fit the phrase beautifully and kept the pattern with “i” as the second letter.

I don’t think my parents took into consideration the following things before choosing this name for me:

First, it’s also a girl’s name. I cannot tell you how many times someone has said “she” before they saw me. Or, they just hear the name “Karen.” Not happy about that.

Second, I can never find my name on a license plate rack. Ever. Sure, one time when my mom’s friend visited Ireland she took pictures of the town of Kieran and that was cool. But seriously.  No pencils ever have Kieran on them.

Third, little, dark one? Me? Well, maybe it fits a bit, but I would really like to have been a John. Or Jon. Kieran is a bit too unique for me. It draws too much attention to my name and, by association, me.

John, now there’s a name you could blend in with. In elementary, there would be a John B., a John M., a Johnny, and any time the teacher called on John, one of the others would have surely spoken up.

So much less pressure being a John than a Kieran.



Picking up kids from camp:

I’m running late to pick up Jake. Ugh! No parking spots in the lot. The teachers must be having a meeting.

I’ll just pull over here onto the grass. It will just be for a few minutes until Jakey is dismissed.

Oh, there’s Kieran’s mom. That was so nice of Kieran to invite Ethan (older son) to his birthday party. He is so excited. Darn, we have to remember to shop for his gift. Oh, I have until Saturday.


Is Kieran coming to book club tonight? Ethan wanted to call, then didn’t.

He’s going? Oh, I cannot wait to tell him that Kieran will be here tonight. That will be great.

Do you think I need to stay for the entire time? I don’t have a cell phone but thought if Kieran and Ethan were together, they would be fine until I pick him back up.

Do you think 10 of eight will be good?

See you tonight!”

“The car’s parked over here, Jake. Time to get lunch and then mommy needs to get back to work.”

Monday, 7/10

It’s hot. I don’t want to be outside. Even the birds have stopped flying around they are so hot. The sun is oppressive. That’s right – down right oppressive. I know big words like that. I’m going into seventh grade.

I don’t feel like doing anything. The sun is so bright. I drag myself over to my side table and fish around for what I’m looking for: my sun glasses. I put them on. Inside. It’s too bright and hot to do anything.

I can play video games? Great! Do you want to play? I should text my friends and let them know that I’m going to be in my online world. I cannot wait to try to beat the game. I have so much to build and take care of in my world. Thank you so much for this time to play.

It’s been an hour and a half? Are you sure? It felt like five minutes. You want me to what? Go outside and play with the dog? Get fresh air? Hold on a minute. Isn’t it too hot to go out? Like unhealthy air quality or humidity or something? I’m so tired. I might just take a nap it’s so hot outside. I wish it were not so bright out so I could sleep. Summer makes me so tired and unmotivated. I wish I had something I could do.