Slice of Life – Day 10

Remembering

I have an episodic memory.

I don’t remember exactly what people say.

If it’s late enough in the day, I won’t remember names.

But I remember feelings and impressions.

I remember stories.

Today, I remember my Dad who left us 8 years ago.

I remember unconditional love.

I remember his laugh – from the belly, full, rich.

I remember that he could get wicked angry, but never raised a hand to any of his children.

I was not his by birth.

My own father could not care less about who I was or how I was growing up.

I remember one time, my Dad delivered a diatribe to my father for missing my most important years.

(I remember being on the receiving end of  many of his lectures.

It’s definitively how I knew he cared.)

Dad said he was enjoying seeing me grow up and discovering who I was becoming.

He scolded my father for missing that.

I remember loyalty and being defended, especially on that day.

I remember January, 8 years ago.

I remember thinking, as I was feeding him his birthday lunch, this may be the last birthday we celebrate.

It was a quiet celebration.

The whole family was there.

Our love and admiration for this gentleman filled the space.

In March, I remember him smiling anyway, even when he could no long talk.

I remember my fear over not having said enough as I held his hand, when he would no longer wake.

Most of all, I remember how he loved me with his strong hands and the gentle touch of his words.

“I’m proud of you. I love you, daughter.”

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15 thoughts on “Slice of Life – Day 10

  1. rosecappelli says:

    So touching! The scaffold “I remember…” is an effective frame. Your words reveal love and caring from both you and your dad. Thanks for sharing this very personal post.

  2. You got me with this one, Aileen. So beautiful. I love the whispering parentheses. I love the way your dad defended you and nailed your father for not being active. I love the way your emotions come through still, 8 years later. Thank you for this puece, though it made me cry.

  3. It is amazing how much we remember of our parents after they have gone — I hear their voices all the time and I agree the feelings bring back moments. What a wonderful man who made sure you knew how much you meant and how special you were — what a gift. This is one to keep and treasure.
    Clare

  4. A beautiful story, aileen, about your father and your relationship with him. I read a whole lifetime here, it was wonderful, such an experience you’ve given to your readers. Thank you!!

    Heart’s with you. 🙂

  5. Your description of memory feels like what i experience. I often feel as though my memories are fuzzy around the edges and more like a sensation than a recording or photograph. I also remember how I felt. My father is also gone now. Your writing makes me realize that I need to write more of my memories to revive them, and sharpen the details that are fading. Thank you for this touching remembrance.

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